Growing up in a Desi household, weekend television was always dominated by a Bollywood movie playing on one of the two Indian channels we subscribed to. The obsession with Bollywood music, costumes, and movies became a fond part of my lifestyle – and so did the love stories that gave me bitterly unrealistic expectations.
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While movies today have breached the vast expanse of genres from horror to sci-fi, “traditional” Bollywood movies – the ones I can watch with my grandmother – had the same romantic plot:
There’s a boy. There’s a girl. There’s a field of yellow flowers or maybe a backdrop of the Swiss alps. There’s lots of flowing hair and pretty sarees – with maybe some disapproving family members or some angry thugs getting in the way. But the loving Bollywood couple almost always found their happily ever after, with a complimentary soundtrack.
Here are some things Bollywood taught me about being the heroine in my own love story:
1. Expectation: You will meet the handsome, Indian man of your dreams while studying/traveling across Europe.
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Reality: When in Europe, you wanted to try the local cuisine. 😉
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2. Expectation: The guy will chase after you and/or make the first move. After all, how many Bollywood movies can you name off the top of your head where the girl makes the first move?
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Reality: Tag, you’re it!
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3. Expectation: There will be romantic scenes in the pouring rain.
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Reality: Eff this, rain is gross and inconvenient.
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4. Expectation: There will be fields of beautiful greenery and colorful flowers when he professes his love for you.
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Reality: Ugh, it’s allergy season.
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5. Expectation: He will protect you from harm and understand your every need and be incredibly caring. He might even find your weird quirks cute!
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Reality: Well, he’s human, after all – AND a boy. He might be a bit goofy.
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6. Expectation: You two share a impromptu, yet well-coordinated, dance routine together.
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Reality: Oh…are there no personal backup dancers at this club?
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7. Expectation: He will be either be super-classy and poised or a lovable rogue.
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Reality: Is there no in-between?!
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8. Expectation: Somewhere along the line, you will love him so much that you’ll learn to make all his favorite Indian foods.
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Reality: You’ve got a better idea! Just order pizza.
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9. Expectation: He will propose in the most unexpected, yet perfectly timed, way. And you will say yes and proceed to your happily ever after!
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Reality: You’ve got your own plans – and waiting around for a magical proposal isn’t part of them!
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10. Expectation: There will be a big fat Indian wedding!
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Reality: Well, maybe this one’s true – but Bollywood tends to leave out all the aunties, mishaps, and drama of wedding planning!
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Bollywood has taught me a lot about fashion, culture, and traditions – and it’s even given me some useful tidbits of advice on love (despite all those outlandish expectations!) Bollywood has got love right in describing it as a function of kindness and trust – but it’s not so accurate on how easy it is to find the perfect guy! As a second-generation Indian, it’s important to decipher what parts of Bollywood are inspirational and what parts are…delusional.
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