Though I write for BFIW, I would be lying if I said I didn’t read other wedding blogs. (I am not Indian, as we all very well know, and so a CWG needs to get her inspiration somewhere…) One that I am checking daily (yes, even though I do not have a wedding to plan) is OffBeatBride.com. I. love. it. It’s heavy on photography and heavy on real peoples’ weddings, and good advice.
What is so grand about OBB is the fact that it’s a collection of women and men (mostly women, but there are definitely men) who take pride in making their weddings their own. Some of the stuff is unusual, thought provoking, good, bad, ugly, and just simply awesome. The thing though, is that it’s always been about not following the Westernized stereotypes for making a wedding.
It’s been about making the wedding your own, following your own drum.
Well, as it turns out, the oh-so-famous beast of a wedding site (can you guess which one it is? I’m sure you can), has posted their top trends for 2011, and I can say, except for the Indian trend (which is awesome, though I am a bit irked that it’s because of Katy Perry it is popular and not just because Indian culture is beautiful, magical, spiritual, and awesome. ( I wore a sari with Preeti once for Deepavali and it was glorious. Beautiful, elegant, glamorous, and womanly. )
I digress… from over-priced desserts, snobby universities, and gender specific sections to further encourage gender stereotypes and separation, everything else was really ripped off of OffBeat brides.
Feathered headdresses? Check. 1920s theme? Check. Techy alterations to weddings? Triple Check. Even the Indian theme to some extent belongs in this collection.
In fact, they (the oh said unnamed wedding site) have even gone so far as to post ‘Off Beat Weddings’ in their Wedding Styles section.
…seriously? Seriously?
It seems now that ‘offbeat’ is now ‘onbeat’. So, now, ladies and gentlemen, we have reached a dilemma. You want a wedding that is fabulous and unique and very much you.
But now, it seems like all your ideas are going to be on the heads or bodies of the same women that you’re competing with for reception venues. Your favorite Etsy favorite headdress dealer is sold out (Curse you June 22nd bride!).
What are you going to do?
Well. Let me help. I will tell you how to go against the grain when everyone is being ‘unique’. Be as ridiculously traditional as humanly possible or ridiculously tech-y as humanly possible.
1. Wear your grandmother’s wedding dress. Moth holes and all. No one will have the same dress as you. It’s a guarantee!
2. Have a ‘Bride’s Pie’ instead of a cake. Apparently, back in the day, it was either a sweet bread, mince or plain ol’ mutton pie with a glass ring baked inside of it. The lucky girl who found it was the next to get married!…or something typical like that.
3. Tie your dude up in a potato sack the night before you get married. You know, like Heath Ledger in The Patriot. (RIP Heath Ledger…what a jaw line….oh baby.)
4. Get married in a naked hand-fastening ceremony. Can’t get more real than that, plus think of how much fun it will be for your single groomsmen and bridesmaids, and talk about an ice breaker for the in laws!
5. Actually don’t wear a ‘wedding’ dress at all. Just wear your best dress. That’s what most of us white folks did before Queen Victoria got all up in here and covered piano legs and stuff.
6. Wear snake rings for your wedding rings. Though slightly creepy, their symbology is awesome. The snake biting its tale is a symbol of eternal love. Queen Vicky was a fan apparently. (Gotta love her.) Snake rings were very popular throughout most of the 19th and early 20th century. You can actually find them for sale at antique ring dealers. No kidding.
7. Make yourself and trousseau, despite all the gender role issues and dowry issues, it would be a great bonding time with the women in your bridal party and family & future family. You would have a beautiful chest to store things in, and you’ll also have fantastic linens for all those dinner parties you might never host. 😉
8. Get married over Skype. I’m sure it’s kind of legal…or something…maybe.
9. Have your wedding recorded in 3D film so you can show your kids and let them know what it was really like.
10. If you’re Indian (which I’m just throwing out a guess here that most of the readers here are…go figure). Be as traditional as possible with your wedding. It’s so cool, so steeped in awesome tradition, that it is so so special, just as it is. Own it, you never know how long that tradition is going to last. (Bam, hit you with some sentimentality…didn’t expect that, did ya?)
Seriously though, big massive wedding website/magazine, stick with what you’re good at: “Ohhhh the ‘it’ colors this season is puce and pea soup green!”, pictures of over priced cakes, and overpriced wedding dresses, and leave the uniqueness alone. Don’t mainstream uniqueness. Please. For the love of everything holy, you’re going to ruin it for the rest of us. Feathered headdresses are expensive enough as it is, we don’t need Martha Stewart slapping her name all over it!
And finally, if you’re going to say Indian weddings are ‘in’ this season, at least acknowledge the fact that they’re awesome not because of Katy Perry, but because Indian weddings are simply awesome.
K. Thanks.
<3 CWG.
Great post … love OBB & tip #8 LOL ! Imagine that!