As you know, we at BFIW love all things weddings. We should preface that by saying we love happy, consensual, and socially just weddings. With our new series Social Justice Sundays, we hope to accompany your chai time with a thoughtful look into some of the issues that plague South Asian weddings all over the world. First up: Forced Marriage
With legislation passing only a few years ago in the UK, forced marriage is an issue inextricably tied to the South Asian community. Yet, while sex-selective abortion, female infanticide, acid attacks, gang rape, and institutional disenfranchisement of women seem stuck behind the invisible forcefield of political borders, child brides have followed the diaspora to their new homes.
Forced marriage, most generally, is when one or both people entering a marriage are pressed by others to do so, are not of a legal age to marry, or are otherwise non-consenting/not capable of consenting under the law. At the international level, forced marriage is a human rights violation, enshrined in the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) and in Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
There are obvious nuances to this definition, as we’ll see, but it’s pretty clear that forced marriage is a huge problem within the South Asian community both on the Subcontinent and amongst its diaspora. That’s not to say that South Asians are the only ones who perpetrate forced marriage, other communities around the world do so as well. Perhaps our cases of forced marriage are more public as there is a huge social perpetuation of the stereotype of arranged marriage and child marriages within pop culture (think Apu from the Simpsons).
As Vidya Sri, forced marriage survivor and one of the directors of GangaShakti, a New Jersey-based nonprofit that helps victims of forced marriage, said “They say forced marriage doesn’t happen (in the U.S.). You really mean arranged marriage. But in my case, this was not an arranged marriage. There was violence. There was coercion. There was fraud.”
The stereotype doesn’t exist in a vacuum – it reflects many of the social issues lawmakers in South Asia are grappling with. Child marriage was outlawed in India in 1929 with the The Child Marriage Restraint Act. It was updated in 2006 with the Prohibition of Child Marriage Act, but child marriage is still a fairly common practice in many parts of the country.
Forced marriage includes child marriages, but in the case of the US, Australia, the UK, and Canada, it more often includes young women and teenagers being forced against their will to marry men abroad. Some cases include men coming to the Western country to marry, thus allowing them to receive a visa. Other cases have young girls and women being forced on to planes going abroad or forced by their family to remain in countries they were visiting (sometimes during a holiday break from school).
“They discovered hundreds and hundreds of young girls, and by that I mean 11, 12, 13-year-olds, who would just disappear off the school rolls,” said Nazir Afzal, Crown Prosecutor for the north-west of England.
One UK-based charity, Karma Nirvana, which maintains a helpline for victims of forced marriage, has been encouraging potential victims to try what is known as “the spoon trick.” This trick, which entails putting a metal spoon inside your underwear, ensures that you are stopped by airport security. The sensitive nature of the spoon’s placement means you will be questioned in an area away from others, including your potential captors. Here you can explain your situation and request help. The spoon trick has already saved many would-be victims.
There are as many as 1000 forced marriages occurring every year in the UK, though this is considered a conservative estimate. Only about 250 of these cases are reported annually. Almost half of the cases handled by the Forced Marriage Unit in the UK involve Pakistani victims. The other top countries are Bangladesh and India. Most victims fall between 16-25 years of age, and the youngest victim discovered was only 2 years old.
The victims of forced marriage, which occasionally include young men as well, face violence and abuse with their new “spouse.” This can take the form of “emotional and physical abuse, unlawful imprisonment, abduction, rape, forced pregnancy or enforced abortion.” This does not include the amount of abuse they would have already faced at the hands of their family leading up to the marriage.
Originally these cases were treated as “family” or “cultural” matters by the UK police, but due to a few high-profile cases, including that of Dr Humayra Abedin, forced marriage has become a national issue. It is usually lumped in with honor killings, dowery deaths, and acid attacks by the media.
In many parts of the US, still, forced marriage is difficult to prosecute because there aren’t laws that clearly outline the parameters of the crime. According to the Global Justice Initiative, only nine US jurisdictions, California, the District of Columbia, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Nevada, Oklahoma, the Virgin Islands and Virginia, have explicit laws regarding forced marriage. It remains a legal gray area, and the lack of prosecution means there is a lack of protection and prevention.
The constant political spectre of force marriage takes life from the perpetuation of the idea that brown people are savages. This is best evidenced by the highly publicized “trend” of muslim pedophile rings in the UK. Much discussion about crimes like these usually gives way pretty quickly to an over-emphasis of the perpetrators’ religious affiliation or country of origin.
That being said, we, as South Asians, have been tied to forced marriage. We have been blamed for it. We have even seen our tradition of arranged marriages polluted by its perceived parallels to forced marriage. Thus it is up to us to save our cultural identity and stop this human trafficking masquerading as our culture. We do this by saving the victims.
Below is a list of resources (complete with buttons that switch the site to a google search and erase your browser history):
US
- Tahirih Justice Center – Based in D.C., Houston, and Baltimore, Tahirih focuses on immigrant women and ensuring they get the legal aid they need to escape violent situations. (571) 282-6161 (D.C.); (713) 496-0100 (Houston); (410) 999-1900 (Baltimore)
- GangaShakti – Mentioned above, GangaShakti is survivor-run. They know everything about forced marriage and how to escape it. Email them at contactus@gangashakti.org
- AHA Foundation – The AHA Foundation works to protect girls and women from the loss of rights in cultural or religious contexts. They have dealt with cases of forced marriage.
- This PDF lists many South Asian Women’s Organizations and is organized by state.
- As always, please call 911 if you need immediate help.
UK
- End the Fear – Based in Greater Manchester, End the Fear has resources for both men and women for everything related to domestic abuse. Domestic Abuse Helpline – +44 161 636 7525
- Karma Nirvana – Since 1993, Karma Nirvana has been working to eradicate all forms of forced marriage and honor-based violence in the UK. They have been doing good work and have rescued many. 0800 5999247 (You can donate to them here)
- Forced Marriage Unit – Part of the UK government whose sole purpose is to stop all forms of forced marriage. Call them at +44 (0) 20 7008 0151
- ForcedMarriage.Net – A one-stop shop for information about forced marriage. They have brochures, pdfs, articles, and links to even more resources.
- IKWARO – For Middle Eastern and Afghani women facing honor-based violence who need help and advice. The website is a good source for news and resources to help. They even have volunteer training. +44 207 920 6460.
- 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247
- As always, please call 999 if you need immediate help.
Canada
- South Asian Legal Clinic of Ontario (SALCO) – Nonproft legal clinic which helps low-income South Asians in the Greater Tronoto Area. They have been handling cases of forced marriage since 2005. 416-487-6371