Walking down the aisle, you see the love of your life who stole your heart. Are you ready to steal his or her last name? Then, buckle up my friends, because long lines at the DMV (and other bureaucratic entities) are in your future!
Getting married is an exciting, but daunting step. There are so many changes involved from moving in with your spouse to writing a bazillion thank you notes to your wedding guests. Within the post-wedding craziness, there comes a time to decide whether you would like to adopt your significant other’s last name. If you do decide to take the leap, then there are a few things to consider. But we’ve broken it all down for you, so don’t worry!
Pre-Name Change Semantics
The first issue to tackle is what your name change will be. There are quite a few possibilities. And we’re going to start with the fictional, bride-to-be, Ms. Simran Samrath and hubby-to-be, Mr. Raj Malhotra.
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1. You take your fiance’s last name. If and when Simran eventually marries Raj, barring all Bollywood obstacles, she becomes Mrs. Simran Malhotra. This is the more traditional form of taking one’s last name. There’s also the more modern possibility of Raj taking Simran’s last name and becoming Raj Samrath.
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2. Hyphenate! Simran doesn’t want to give up her father’s last name, but she wants the world to know that she is Raj’s Simran. The compromise is to take both last names with a hyphen between them. Simran’s full name becomes Mrs. Simran Samrath-Malhotra. While this is a seemingly nice compromise, the new last name can be a mouthful. Our advice is to sound it out and write the name multiple times before committing. If it doesn’t sound pleasant now, then it probably won’t sound any better in the future.
3. Making your maiden name your middle name. Ms. Simran Samrath becomes Mrs. Simran Samrath Malhotra or Mrs. Simran S. Malhotra. I’m a personal fan of this one, as this is the method I chose! That being said, I picked it because I didn’t have a middle name prior to marriage. If you have a middle name already, you would have to drop it for this to work. This could be an excuse to lose an unfavorable or embarrassing middle name. Caveat: If you live in CA, NJ, NY, OH, PA, or WA, then the DMV will not permit you to take your maiden name as your middle name. Sorry!
4. Keeping your name. Ms. Samrath stays Ms. Simran Samrath. If you’re anxious about the professional repercussions of a name change or losing your identity, you always keep your last name. A means to balance the married version of you with the old you is to recognize your name change on a social level. I’ve seen many couples make the name change Facebook and G-mail official without any legal changes. This allows you to retain your name at work or school, but be known among friends and family as a married couple. Note: There is a flip side to this where brides can opt to change their names legally, but keep their maiden names at work.
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Post-Name Change Selection
After practicing your new name in cursive on various sheets of paper, you have to deal with a very not-so-fun, drawn-out process.
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Warning/Advice: We don’t advising changing your name before the honeymoon, unless you have taken care of all the relevant, legal documents. The new name must match that on travel documents, such as passports or licenses. The time frame on processing a passport name change ranges from four to six weeks. So no jet-setting right away, Mrs. Simran Malhotra!
1. You need (certified copies) of your marriage license.
• You’ll need to show or hand over the original or certified copies at several places, so it helps to have some extras.
2. The Social Security Administration beckons you.
• Head over to the Social Security Administration’s website and fill out the application for a new Social Security card. Check the website for the necessary documents needed, but generally documents proving your name change (marriage license), identity (driver’s license), citizenship or immigrant status (passport or green card). Visit your local Social Security office to submit the form, but be weary of the long lines! It takes about 10 days for a new card to be issued via mail.
3. Get a new driver’s license picture (and name change) for FREE.
• Go to your local DMV with reading materials or entertainment in hand. The lines are long! Just bring your marriage license and driver’s license. Check the DMV website for any other necessary documents, as some states require more documentation like 2 copies of photo ID.
4. The bank should know your real name now.
• Head to the bank with your new, spiffy driver’s license and marriage license in hand. It shouldn’t take too long as long as the branch isn’t busy. If you’d like to go with your spouse, then you might consider opening a joint account during this time.
5. Notify your work, tax people, and creditors.
Blah.
6. Work down a list of the relevant offices (passport office, post office, insurance companies- auto/home/life, landlords, etc.).
More blah, but necessary blah.
AND YOU’RE DONE! YAY!
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Disclaimers:
*If this list is too stress-inducing, there are name change kits/services available. I personally opted for a Groupon I found for the MissNowMrs.com service, which wasn’t exceedingly helpful, but it did streamline the forms I needed for the name change process.
**This guideline was created mostly for brides in the US. But, there are helpful tips for our brides around the world (Ireland, Canada, UK, Australia, and New Zealand) through this helpful link!