Everything about their planning is fodder for big conversations, ones that we may not normally talk about with family. You know, how large the guest list should be, or incorporating different cultures, or... second marriages!
Let's get those conversations out of the closet and start talking about them during the wedding planning process.
Celebrating Second Marriages
“(A second) marriage deserves to be celebrated just as much as any other,” says Keith Phillips of Classic Photographers.
Like the Tanishq advertisement with the bride and her daughter, many second marriages are facing more than just planning. How do we celebrate our new lives while acknowledging that our history includes previous marriages?
It's important to acknowledge the old life, the new life, and to enjoy what is to come.
Downsizing Guest Lists
A conversation nearly all couples face is the dreaded guest list negotiation. Public figures have the same talk, just on a much higher order. Tommy Waters of The Renaissance points out that this is one of the most interesting subjects to develop from Harry & Meghan’s plans, saying, “Typically, you could expect over a thousand guests to be in attendance. (Harry and Meghan) have invited only about 600 guests to the service (compared to the 1900 invited to Prince William and Kate’s wedding). If we see a trend continue into the industry you should start to see couples downsizing their counts as well.”
But downsizing the guest list comes with sacrifice. Not inviting people can cause gossip, or worse, FOMO. When culling your guest down, decide on who is a *part* of your life verses who's being invited "just because."
To Invite or Not to Invite?
Regardless of the wedding size, you will find that it’s impossible not to hurt someone’s feelings in the invitation planning. Just sit around chai time with any auntie and you'll hear the complaints, err discussions, on who invited who at an Indian wedding.
One way to deal with whom to invite and not, is to hire great wedding planners.
Paulette Alkire of Chalet View Lodge says, “Acknowledge there are challenges to work around and then make it a priority to hire experienced professionals to help you navigate these waters. The right team will be ready and willing to listen, then anticipating things that may come up during the planning and on the wedding day. Your parents not getting along will extend far beyond the seating during the reception- lean on the professional team to help mitigate problems.”
Just Say No...To Family Recommendations
When planning your own wedding, you’ll find that people (namely well-meaning loved ones) will come out of the woodwork to recommend wedding professionals who could be a fit. And there's no such shortage for planning a South Asian wedding. We can't even imagine what people are telling Meghan Prince Harry for their royal wedding! They have to listen to Queen Elizabeth's opinions - and goodness, that's having a Nani^1000 opinion coming at you!
What should you do when you come across a similar precarious situation?
“Sometimes the best thing to do is just smile and agree to look into the option,” says Tara Fay of Xena Productions. “It can save hours of family arguments into the future.”
Smile and nod. Smile and nod. In one ear, out the other.
Customizing Your (Royal) Destination Wedding
“With Prince Harry and Meghan growing up across the pond from one another, this is officially the first destination royal wedding we’ve experienced and with that, comes a wealth of inspiration and discussion about how to create the idyllic experience for guests, who will be coming from all over the globe for the celebration,” says Megan Velez of Destination Weddings Travel Group.
With a Royal Weddings, you don't get much room to create individuality, nor a destination multicultural feeling, but that's exactly what is going to happen.
Velez continues, “Customizing destination weddings to fit the couple’s personalities and heritage is not a new concept, but I expect there will be quite a bit of buzz with any American touches we come across. After all, there just isn’t as much wiggle room with such a wedding expected to be so heavily steeped in tradition that it will be fun to see how this modern couple makes the event their own.”
Harry and Meghan’s real-life fairy tale wedding will long be the subject of scrutiny, analysis, and some of the best conversations to hit the wedding world for years. It is certainly destined to be a royally entertaining event! Put May 19th on your calendar because we'll be live watching with our own commentary!