For the past two years, Father’s Day has meant and felt so much more to me. Prior to being married, every Father’s Day was business as usual. Come up with a cute idea with my sister to celebrate the occasion, share a funny or cute post on social media and call it a day. It’s been very different for the past two years, though.
I was lucky to receive a small set of wedding photos soon after our wedding day. The photo you see in this article happened to be a part of that small set and conveniently arrived in time for Father’s Day. So as protocol has it for a new bride, this wedding photo quickly made it to my Instagram feed, in honour of Father’s Day.
Some time later, I stepped back and thought to myself, why did I instinctively select this photo? There were a few other suitable photos, so why this one? Maybe it was a cry inside of me to express that no, nothing has changed. Even though you gave me away, I’m yours and still want to be yours, papa. Or maybe it was just the Bollywood influence on my life that told me, this is one of those epic moments which your photographer did a great job of capturing. Well, whatever the emotion was at that point in time, it resulted in me choosing to share this moment.
Every now and then, I look at this photo and wonder why we place so much importance on this part of the Hindu wedding ceremony. I ask myself, why is kanyadaan still so significant in today’s progressive culture? As educated as we all are now, we can’t truly believe that only one of the two members is being given away to the other.
Like many other things, we perform it out of respect for our religion, tradition and culture. Sure, let’s keep doing it. However, let’s not get carried away and lose ourselves in the intent it was formed with centuries ago. Let’s not view this just as the father giving away his daughter because the reality is, a son in law is received into one family just as much a daughter in law is received in the other family. Neither a bride nor groom is required to be given away to a family.
As time passes, I observe little physical changes in my father, and my heart cringes every time he has to reach for his glasses to read something. A father is a father. All of them are getting old and the gender of their child doesn’t change that fact. No father should be made to feel like he has his child unconditionally for a limited number of years, and after a point, he has his child only conditionally. All fathers need their child and all children need their father – unconditionally.
It may take years for this to manifest but for now, let’s remember that all fathers deserve to know their child is theirs unconditionally and infinitely. Spend time with your father today and assure him in your own love language, that you’re still his little girl and always will be.
Happy Father’s Day to all of the loving and incredible fathers out there.
Written by Gunjan. Follow her blog, Songbird Echoes and Instagram.