Well done on getting engaged! You’re now probably raring to get started on the planning.
When you first sit down to brainstorm your wedding with a notebook in hand and a near-overwhelming sense of excitement you’re going to want to write down a million and one infeasible thoughts (no, you probably can’t book Katy Perry to walk you down the aisle). You need to breathe, slow down, and really think – how exactly do you want your day to go?
If you follow my steps, I promise you’ll figure out exactly what’s doable, beautiful, and perfect for you and your future spouse.
1. DON’T Rely on Other Weddings
Photo via Destination Indian Weddings: Hard Rock Hotel’s Ishq Rocks
It’s perfectly normal to borrow ideas, but if your whole brainstorm looks like “at cousin Pinky’s wedding they did…” or “Tanuj Uncle’s flowers were on point…” then you’re just going to have a cut and paste wedding. It won’t be you and it probably won’t feel right. It’s best to consider what you liked about other people’s weddings, including celebrities’, but take them only as a jumping off point.
If cousin Pinky’s dress was perfect and you can see yourself walking down the aisle in it, consider why. Is it because of the bling? The color? The fit? When you actually go shopping you will need to be more open to ideas because you’re not going to find the identical dress (also Anjali Aunty will so know if you copied her daughter’s dress) so it’s better to have a starting point (like a mermaid fit lehnga) rather than a template in mind.
2. Figure Out What’s Important to You
Photo via Nirali & Aman’s Wedding
This is a pretty open-ended question. You can answer it in a million and one ways – do you want to honor traditions above all else? It is vital that the day is easy-going and relaxed? Do you want your guests to be the most important part? Or you and your spouse? Or your cousins? Or your parents? Or the food? Literally, this is entirely up to you and no answer is incorrect. Choose one big thing that really matters to you and maybe 1-3 smaller ones (like food, lighting, or the flowers). Doing this will free you of the bizarre but totally understandable need to make everything perfect for everyone.
Once you figure this out, you can start planning how to achieve it. If above all else you want the day to feel relaxed, consider how much needs to be organized before the day, the pacing of the events, the amount of times you try to make guests do something embarrassing, etc.
3. Color Palette Power
It may seem a bit ridiculous to pick a color palette. It’s not like you pick it for other things – only you totally do. When you decorate your apartment or pick an outfit out in the morning, chances are you’re thinking how the colors are all working together. You probably have a design style in mind in everything you do. The colors that surround you work together to form a personality or definite feeling – citrus colors are refreshing and summary, greens are rich and calming, or being surrounded by shades of red inspires you.
Picking a color palette for your wedding does two things: it creates an emotion and it helps you filter out unnecessary items. For instance, you’re not going to be able to pick a white centerpiece if your wedding’s color palette is pink sunset. Depending on your personal work style you may be able to sit back, close your eyes, and imagine the perfect wedding theme. Or you may need to wait till you start purchasing before the palette reveals itself to you. Either way, don’t shy away from choosing a distinct palette. If you really don’t know where to start, look over our collected Color Palette Mondays.
4. What Do You Want to Be Remembered For?
Photo via Nina & Peter’s Wedding
This is a hard question to answer. It goes somewhat with point 2 – what do you want your guests to leave feeling? Or maybe how do you want to leave feeling? Answering this question also brings you somewhat closer to really honing in on the personality of your wedding. Adjectives are a good place to start, pick what stands out – there’s joyful, dreamy, romantic, exuberant, warm, loving, careful. There are really so many directions your wedding can go in, but you just need to think of how you want it to go. Sometimes it’s as simple and as hard as that.
Focusing on the after affect of the day is helpful for channeling your thoughts. Of course you want people to have fun, but try to go a step farther – what do you want your romance to look like to them? What is it to you? Consider how your relationship makes you feel and go from there.
5. Lastly, Look At Our Featured Weddings
Photo via Glamorous Outdoor Hindu Wedding
This isn’t exactly relying on other weddings, it’s just a way to get the juices flowing. My previous steps may not be speaking to you. That’s fine. You need to be in the right headspace to plan a wedding. Until then you should look over the gorgeous Featured South Asian Weddings we have on the site to see, at the very least, what speaks to you. AND you can shamelessly steal elements from these weddings because you’re probably not related to our featured couples. So relax, flip through some pretty photos, and let the inspiration come to you.
The personality of your wedding may seem like an intangible and elusive figure looming over your wedding planning, but it’s definitely not! Follow my steps, breathe, and relax into it. It’ll speak to you by the end, I promise.