When people in America talk about weddings, they discuss a lot of things: The bride’s dress, the couple’s love, the food at the reception, the decor of the venue….and the booze that’s served throughout most of the festivities.
Here’s the thing, though: As a South Asian bride from a Muslim family, I won’t be serving alcohol at my wedding – and that’s made my entire planning experience far more stressful than it needs to be.
I always knew I’d have to respect my parents’ wishes and avoid serving alcohol at my wedding. After all, they’re the ones throwing the whole event. But with that being said, I didn’t realize how big of a deal it would be until I began actually planning the event.
Photo courtesy of Irfan Ahson
A lot of it has to do with the fact that my fiancé doesn’t come from a Muslim family. Honestly, though, I think I’d still be incredibly nervous about the entire thing just because so many of my guests have probably never been to a dry wedding before and will expect an open bar.
There are definitely people out there who turn up their noses at the idea of a dry wedding. I’ve heard people complain that it’s cheap, rude, selfish and just plain boring to avoid serving alcohol at your wedding. And while I sort of understand why someone might be disappointed if there’s no bar at a wedding, I think it’s totally out line to judge someone for not serving it at their celebration. To anyone out there who is throwing a dry wedding, let me give you one piece of advice: DO NOT look at wedding boards that discuss dry weddings. You’ll probably just wind up more discouraged than ever after seeing the rude things people say about alcohol-free weddings.
Image courtesy of Cam’ra Fair Studio
I know that there is nothing wrong with throwing a dry wedding. Whether it’s for religious, cultural, personal or financial reasons, it’s perfectly within your rights to serve (or not serve) anything you want on your big day. Any guest needs to respect your rules – after all, you wouldn’t expect to have a drink at someone’s church ceremony.
With that being said, I stress out about the thought of my guests not wanting to get on the dance floor, leaving my celebration early or spending most of the night at the hotel bar. But then I remind myself that if someone can’t have fun without catching a buzz, that’s his or her problem, not mine. All I can do is go through with my plans and do my best to make my wedding a celebration of my love. When it comes right down to it, that’s all any of us can do – whether or not there’s an open bar involved.
Photo courtesy of Mariam Saifan
Ultimately the thing that gets me through the stress of planning a dry wedding is this: I remind myself that anyone who truly cares about me will be at my wedding having a great time even without any liquid courage.