How To Include An Disinterested Husband-To-Be In Wedding Planning

November 14, 2015 - by Zara

What happens when you're engaged to a man who simply doesn't care about the planning process?

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The truth is, a lot of brides (myself included) can become very detail-oriented when it comes to wedding planning. We're preparing for the biggest day of our lives, so suddenly little things (like the tiny difference between sand and champagne colored roses) become very significant to a bride. In many cases, the groom just doesn't care about these little things and, as a result of this, withdraws from the entire planning process.

I've found there are ways to include your groom in the planning, though. Here are my top five tips:

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1. Narrow decisions down to two options and have him help you choose between them:

For example: if your fiancé just doesn't care about the floral centerpieces, don't feel like he needs to be there from your first consultation to the very end. Instead, consider doing some of the legwork and then narrowing your choice down to two arrangements. Have him take a look at your top two or three picks and weigh in on the ultimate decision.

2. Ask him to describe his ideal wedding in a few words:

And then do whatever you can do create this vibe on your big day. If his words are "formal, classy and traditional," consider a sit-down dinner. If her prefers something "laid-back, casual and fun," think about serving creative dinner stations instead. Of course, sometimes his image will clash with yours. In that case, do what you can to strike a balance between your wishes and his.

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3. Give him one element to take charge of completely:

Maybe your fiancé loves music or maybe he has amazing taste in food. Whatever the case may be, identify one element of the wedding that he would enjoy planning and let him have it. Of course, you can still work with him to plan out that element, but letting him take the reins will make both of you feel like he's contributed to the planning in a big way. Even if it's as simple as having him choose and book the late-night snacks, it's significant.

4. Include him in interactive elements:

The food tasting is a perfect opportunity for you to have your fiancé weigh in with his opinion. Things like that - which are more action-based - are great opportunities for you to loop him in on the process. Other examples include meeting with the DJ or band and choosing items for the registry.

5. Check in with him before making any commitments:

This sounds like a no-brainer but when you get swept away in the planning process, it's easy to forget that your other half should be consulted before you sign a contract or book a vendor. Even if it's something he likely doesn't care about, making sure he's on board with an idea is essential if you want him to feel included in the planning process.

 

What are your tips for including a fiancé in wedding planning? Tell us below!

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